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Emperor John the Hogs-Bollocks  A
carrot crunching character from the wild parts of the deep Southern Territories.
Many said no such Wurzel Watcher could survive the manly demands of Northern
life and culture, but he is no fearer of ferret followers nor tripe swallowers.
Though he comes from a place where the beer is lifeless, he has married into the Geoffrey Worshipping race, which has gifted him a taste for the good beer of the Noble Parish. However he shares in common with them the following of the national sport and the perpetual losing of it... Known as the man who would be King, he rules an Empire of upside down prams, frog enthusiasts, wet cheese and pigs that seek out fungus! Perhaps, thus his sobriquet - though this title he brings with him from parts so foreign that the translation may be difficult. A quaffer in the King Les mould, it is rumoured he may ride a hog around the
Parish to prove his title. A man of tele-visual talents, famed throughout the
news rooms of Northern Towns, he has even appeared on a children's show
directing trains! Middle aged matrons swoon before his charismatic manner, an
icon for the elderly who suppose him to be wholesome in his ways. (Which tells
the insightful reader something about the human ageing process!)
Norton Lees waits transfixed by the myth of a man with his hand always on his wallet!
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